Learning to Love

You'll be amazed at how much you'll love him.

I remember hearing this before Eli entered the world.  Mothers would warn me - I'd be smitten at the first sight of my new precious bundle.  I thought, "Of course, of course... I know I'll love him!"  But, they're right.  Nothing can prepare you for the moment you lay eyes on your child.  A piece of you.  A piece of your love.  All wrapped up in a bundle that only God could create so perfectly.

I distinctly remember waking up the morning of Eli's 1st week birthday.  I'd been a mom for a week and could not possibly put into words how much I loved my son.  That's when it hit me -- God loves Eli more than I do.  How is that possible?  I love every inch and ounce of this creature.  Every cry, every diaper (seriously, and they are starting to get baaaaad -- gone are the innocent breastfed baby diapers!), every coo, every laugh, the perfect slope of his nose... oh my goodness.  Have I stressed to you that I'm obsessed?

The morning of his 1st week birthday

  
And, almost as hard to believe -- God loves me more than Eli does.  It was only upon having a child that I truly began to understand the enormity of God's love and the excitement God feels when he considers my potential for good in this world.  I feel the same excitement when I think of Eli's future.

Through Christ, Eli will do great things. Through Christ, I can do great things.

Realizing these things only deepened my love for Jesus Christ.  It won't take having a child for all people to realize the capacity of Christ's love, but it did for me.  I mess up daily trying to serve Him, and yet He looks at me with love and excitement in His eyes.  He longs for me to be with Him in the same way that I long to be with Eli.  I eagerly wait for Eli to wake up from his nap so we can play -- does God not eagerly wait for me to be with him in just the same way?  Knowing that motivates me to honor Him in that way.  I have always struggled with daily quiet time reading His word and listening to Him.  I have a daily devotional that I read, but I've been craving more and am having a hard time making it happen. 

I'm sure the birth of Jesus is especially poignant to me this year because of the birth of my own son.  Can you imagine being Mary, knowing that this child you are carrying is going to be the saver of men?  Her dedication to accomplishing God's will is humbling and inspiring.

Just as Jesus was put on this earth to accomplish God's will, so was Eli.

So was I.  

So were you. 

I pray that we each take time to not simply remember the "reason for the season" but also take time to seek God's will for our lives.  How can we better serve Him?  Is there something He has put on your heart lately that you need encouragement to pursue?  I know I need it.  I have a heart for the meek and insecure.  I gave a small gift to one boy I found last week, and it has only whet my appetite.  I want more.  My gifting is not bold evangelism.  But, I can encourage those that He puts in my path.  I pray that I will never ignore that prompting from the Holy Spirit.  It's not comfortable.  But, each time I obey His wish, I assist in a small victory. 

Lord, use me.

I intended to write a more Christmas focused post, but perhaps this is what God wanted me to write.  I can't get my mind to think of anything else. 

Have a very Merry Christmas!  I hope the time with friends and family brings you great joy this week!

Love!